BABY YOU LIGHT UP MY WORLD LIKE NOBODY ELSE
THE WAY THAT YOU FLIP YOUR HAIR GETS ME OVERWHELMED
BUT WHEN YOU SMILE AT THE GROUND IT AIN'T HARD TO TELL
YOU DON'T KNOW-OH-OH
YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL
Full Disclosure: I have not watched a single episode of Glee since the Christmas episode. So I have no idea who dreadlocks is over there. All I know is that last night it was the prom episode, and when I found out that Chord had a verse in a One Direction song? Yes. I was going to be watching that please and thank you.
LET'S DIVE RIGHT IN.
Any episode that begins with a Rachel voice-over is clearly going to be amazing. What I'm getting from this is that she didn't get into NYADA. But that's okay. She will figure something out. These writers are amazing at plugging up plot holes. #theyignorecontinuity
Britney has a convo with the principal about the fact that her term as class president has been non-productive at best. She is encouraged to step up her game. So she basically takes over the prom committee and decides that the theme for the prom? IS DINOSAURS. Also? No hair gel. #blaineproblems
The drama of this episode appears to be that Finn and Quinn are both nominated for Prom King and Queen, respectively, but not Rachel. Finn decided to run together with Quinn as a favor, but he didn't tell Rachel about it, so she's mad? Really? Are we still doing this Rachel/Finn/Quinn thing? Because seriously. I was over that the third time that Finchel broke up.
Singing feelings about dejection, OF WHICH BLAINE KNOWS NOTHING BUT OKAY.
Also, baseball dress.
Someone needs to stop Kurt from singing like a choir girl, because I can't even take it. This number made me uncomfortable. I was forced to drink more wine just to cope. Also, BLAINE. THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU. Why is Kurt still with this herb??? I can't even take it.
Nice knee socks, Rach!
Meanwhile, Becky is disgruntled that she was not nominated from prom queen. Can I just say how much I loved the Becky voiceovers? Because I loved them.
So the "outcasts" (a.k.a. Rachel, Kurt, Blaine, Puck and Becky) decide to have an anti-prom at a hotel. Alright. Kurt and Blaine are inexplicably wearing tuxes anyway, and Rachel has just happened to bring her prom dress with her BECAUSE REASONS, so we all know where this is going to go.
What even am I looking at.
AT THE PROM. I honestly don't understand what happened here. What song is this??? I DON'T UNDERSTAND. Would Britney really be allowed to be dressed like that, gyrating around the dance floor with a bunch of cheerleaders wearing paper mache dinosaur heads? Probably no. But this is Glee. Where nothing is based in reality.
Don't mess with Finn and his one move - THE SHOVE.
Speaking of which, GUESS WHAT. Quinn gets her ass handed to her when Finn freaks out, having discovered that she plans on standing up and walking "when she wins prom queen." Ugh. WHAT IS IT GOING TO TAKE TO GET QUINN TO STOP BEING A SELFISH PSYCHO??? People don't really watch this show every week, do they? Anyway, it's dreadlocks to her defense, and Finn breaks out his one and only move - THE FINN SHOVE. I love it. He plays football, right?
MY PRECIOUS. #deathtosamcedes
SAM HAD TWO LINES IN THIS EPISODE YOU GUYS. TWO LINES. TWO!!!!!!!!! #diesamcedesdie
Speaking of which...CAN WE PLEASE DISCUSS:
I HAVE WORN OUT THE PAUSE BUTTON ON MY COMPUTER. MY CHORD OVERSTREET FLAIL HAS TORN A HOLE IN THE FABRIC OF SPACE AND TIME. HAPPINESS.
Puck and Becky Alliance FTW
Meanwhile. PUCK IS SO CUTE WHEN HE IS DEPRESSED. OHMYGOD BROKEN BOYS. When Rachel, Blaine and Kurt decide to just go to the prom (SURPRISE), Becky and Puck stay behind. Puck is inexplicably in his underwear (NO PROBLEMO) and then he is adorable and crowns himself and Becky as Anti-Prom King and Queen. YES. I LOVE IT.
Back at Actual Prom, Quinn has yet another realization about herself and how shitty she is, but don't worry, much like every other revelation she has ever had, it will end up not affecting her at all. #glee
"I'm finally getting to see the real you."
Kurt. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA JUST HOW PATHETIC THAT MAKES YOUR RELATIONSHIP SOUND?
Just as Quinn decides to make a sacrifice for someone else, Blaine decides to make one, too. Only his is to wash out his hair gel. Honestly. HE IS THE WORST BOYFRIEND OF ALL TIMES.
"TAKE MY BREATH AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY"
...and other things that would never happen at a real prom.
Quinn is so selfless, you guys. To prove that fact, she rigs the results so that Finn and Rachel are named Prom King and Queen. And then she sings "Take My Breath Away". And then she stands up, BECAUSE SHE JUST CAN'T HELP BUT BE THAT KIND OF A MOMENT-STEALING HO. I suppose I forgive her in the end, because it makes room for Sam's SECOND LINE of the show: "It's a prom miracle!" Yes, Sam. It's a prom miracle indeed. MAKE OUT WITH KURT.
Also, there was an animatronic dinosaur which everyone sat on for their prom photo. DREAMS DO COME TRUE. Unless you desperately believe that Kurt and Sam are destined to be together. Then it's just Samcedes in your face so you drink more wine and watch the One Direction cover a few more times.
Or maybe that's just me.