Saturday, December 31, 2011

Spoiler Alert: She's Out of My League

Sweatshirt. Furrowed Brows. Mouth.

This was the second time that I watched this movie, and I have to tell you, it was still funny. STILL. FUNNY.  It's the story of Kirk (JAY BAY SHAY), who is this guy in his (mid to late?) 20s that works for the TSA with three of his crazy friends. He used to date this beeyotch Marnie, but she's been with someone else for two years and yet he feels the need to pathetically attempt to get her back. Um, no. To make matters more awkward, she is constantly hanging out at his parents' house with her boyfriend Ron. 

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Oh hai.
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One day, whilst working at the airport, this woman Molly shows up. Everyone thinks she is hot, because she is played by Alice Eve, but Kirk is the only one that doesn't treat her differently because of this. She ends up forgetting her phone after her plane has already started to take off, but she calls it and Kirk answers and they make plans to meet up when she gets back so he can return it to her. AWWWWWWWWWWW.

I like the pacing of this movie, because right after this bit, it's the night when Kirk and his friend Devin (don't even get me started on how much I love Devin because he calls Kirk "Kirky" and is always talking about Disney movies) meet Molly at a party that she helped to throw for an art gallery (why is it always an art gallery?!?!?!?!?). It's adorably awkward, and Molly's sister Katie, who happens to be working for her, bumps into Kirk and he spills his wine all over the gallery owner and then he's like PEACE OUT. But Molly runs after him! And she's all, "Hey! Why don't you show up at the Penguins game tomorrow night and I will have tickets waiting for you and a friend! Okay!" 

Bless screencaps, amirite?

As it turns out, Molly actually kind of likes Kirk. But his friends try and convince him that it could never work, because she is a 10, and Kirk is a 5. (A 5 though? Really? What is wrong with the world.)

Boys on a conveyor belt like woah.

I will admit that, despite my adoration for Jay and all of the things that he does, this movie...you know. It's predictable. They go out on some dates. They like each other. Lots of awkward shit happens. He doubts that she likes him. He freaks out because he feels inadequate. She freaks out because she hates that he thinks that she's perfect. She tells him to go away. He is sad. Marnie tries to get him back, and he gives in because he decides that he sucks and deserves to end up with her. He begrudgingly puts on an awful yellow sweatshirt and is about to embark on a family vacation with her (and Ron!). BUT THEN.

Dis bitch I can't.

Kirk's friend Stainer (played by T. J. Miller, who played my favorite part in Our Idiot Brother OMG) gets Molly to come to the airport and rescue him from the plane of doom. And they are happy now the end. I mean I know I'm not making you want to watch the thing with the way that I'm writing about it, but. If you like Jay, you will like watching this simply because REASONS. 

Favorite Lines:

"Remember that time I made you that mix tape of Kate Bush songs I thought applied to our relationship? This is cooler. Happy Valentie's Day...from two years ago!" 

"Dude! Go shit in your hand." 

"This is nice. It's like dining on The Today Show set." 

"This kind of reminds me of my place, except that my place is a shit hole."

"We're in a sticky wicket. A rough patch. Rough pumpkins." 

"You're like Yoda. Sex Yoda." 

"Kirky! We should have done a hot towel, like those old-timey barbers!" 

"Kirk, you look like David Archuleta."

"Fuller, you have a choice. You can step aside, or you can fight me. But if that's how you wanna go, I warn you, I will go Dark Side. I will rip out your hair, I'll bite your chin off, and I will stab you in the eyes with confiscated scissors cause I am AN INSANE MOTHERFUCKER, AND YOU KNOW THAT FROM THE BREAK ROOM. WHAT'S IT GONNA BE?"

I will blog all of the photos of his open mouth that I can find okay.

Stats:

Number of scenes for which they needed to cover up Jay's maple leaf chest tattoo: 2

Number of times Jay did that thing, you know, where he pouts his lips and my brain explodes: 7

Number of naked asses: 1 (he used a butt double, so don't get excited)

Favorite slightly irrelevant character detail: Stainer plays in a Hall & Oates cover band called Adult Education

Weirdest detail in general: The music playing during the credits is like some strange adult contemporary instrumental music and I don't understand

Rating, on a scale of One to ELEVEN: A solid 7

Final Assessment: Lots of Jay, without having to concentrate on a plot


Meh.


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