Monday, November 28, 2011

Spoiler Alert: X-Men: First Class

You can tell because he's touching his temple with his middle finger.

You know how sometimes you get all excited for a movie because you've heard such great things about it, and then the anticipation level gets kind of intense, and then you panic because you're sure that it can't possibly be as good as everyone said that it was, and you can't really talk about it with anyone because the movie in question came out about 6 months ago and you're pretty sure that everyone is over it by now, so you find yourself going into it with no expectations in order to protect your fragile mind that can't really take another shitty action movie right now?

You know where I'm coming from. I can tell.

When X Men: First Class came out in the theaters this summer, Tumblr exploded with nothing but love, fan art, and hilarious memes. We had every intention of going to see it, but I was so dumb and I decided that we should see The Hangover 2 instead. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME I DON'T EVEN KNOW. Fast forward to two weeks ago, when it arrived in the mail from Netflix. AND HAPPINESS ENSUED.

If you don't know by now, this movie is essentially the origin stories of Charles (Professor X) and Erik (Magneto), with some Raven (Mystique), Hank (Beast), and some other random X-Men and villains thrown in. And you know. SEBASTIAN SHAW PLAYED BY KEVIN BACON. WHAT IN THE EVENS. HOW DID I NOT EXPECT THIS. He was so creepy when he was speaking German that I couldn't even handle it. So good.

"Remember that time I killed your mom because you couldn't move a coin with your magnetic powers? I'm really hoping we can move past all of that."

McAvoy and Fassy. I mean. As perfect a pairing if ever there was one. I found myself sympathizing with Erik an awful lot, and you know, he turns into the bad guy in the future, but is he really all that bad? And is Charles really all that right? Or is he just kind of arrogant because he thinks that reading people's minds is way cooler than the ability to move metal? Because he's pretty much right on that point. The whole sub-story of Mystique and Beast was honestly good, too. Being who you are vs. blending in with the world, and how in an attempt to help Mystique look more permanently human, Beast accidentally turns himself into the Beast. I mean. I ate it up, y'all.

File Under: Images I Would Not Mind Having Burned Into The Underside Of My Eyelids

I don't really have much more to add. I mean, I genuinely enjoyed this movie. I'm looking forward to another. Are they making another? They should make another. MCAVOY + FASSY OTP.


Number of times I asked the husband, "Who is that guy?": 7

Number of minutes it took me to understand that Kevin Bacon was eternally young, and not playing several different characters that happened to look the same: 42

Number of times the husband and I discussed how much people hate January Jones: 3

Number of times the husband mentioned January Jones' boobs: 3

Number of minutes spent discussing where we knew Lucas Till from: 18

Number of times I audibly swooned over James McAvoy: 12

Favorite cameo: Wolverine (TWO SIDES!)

Favorite cameo Runner Up: 5 Seconds of Rebecca Romijn

Final Assessment: NEED MOAR X-MEN PLZ

"Stop touching your temple and help me, Charles!"
"Freeeeee your miiiiiiind of aaaaaaangerrrrrrr..."
"Seriously bro. I'm lifting a freaking submarine. YOUR MANTRAS MEAN DICK TO ME."


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