Monday, September 5, 2011

Spoiler Alert: 30 Minutes or Less


MORE LIKE 30 MINUTES OR YES, PLEASE.

I'm going to be very up front with you. I LOVE JESSE EISENBERG. 

Also? I LOVED THIS MOVIE. It's about to be a gush-fest up in this piece.

The husband and I both loved Zombieland, so we went into this with high hopes as it is also directed by Ruben Fleischer. He's good with weaving comedy into action bits into comedy. And when there are bits of action, they are awesome. He did not disappoint in that arena.

So the basic plot is that these two rather hapless dudes (in their 30s?) come up with a plan to acquire an inheritance of about $1 million in leftover lottery winnings by kidnapping a guy and forcing him to rob a bank so that they can have some cash to hire a hitman to kill Danny McBride's dad, whom he hates.

The guy they kidnap is Jesse Eisenberg, who is a 20-something pizza delivery boy, and who lives with Aziz Ansari, who is his best friend since high school and also a substitute elementary teacher.

Also of note, Jesse Eisenberg is in love with Aziz Ansari's twin sister. Which is funny and kind of cute. But not to Aziz. It causes him to push Jesse to the ground (NOT THE FACE!!!!!) and go all krav maga on his ass. THEY HAVE BEEF NOW, IS WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GET FROM THIS.

TIME TO KEEP DELIVERING PIZZAS, JESSE. Why are you being sent to deliver pizza in an abandoned junk yard? I don't know. Seems legit. WHO ARE THESE DUDES IN MONKEY MASKS?!?!?!?!? Basically, Danny McBride and Nick Swardson's plan goes through, and Jesse gets knocked out, and when he comes to he's got a bomb vest attached to his chest. He's got 10 hours to rob the local bank of $100,000! Or else he will explode! OH NOES!

Oh, to be that duct tape. 
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The first place he goes is to the school where Aziz is working. They just had that big fight, but HE NEEDS HIS BEST FRIEND RIGHT NOW, so he agrees to never talk about Aziz's sister again if he will just help him figure out what to do.

Aziz was really funny in this movie. I was worried, because I am also a huge fan of Parks & Rec, and I thought that I would spend a lot of the movie thinking about Tom Haverford, but NO! AZIZ WAS FANTASTIC!

Most articulate. Bank robbery. Ever.
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After googling ways to diffuse a bomb, they decide that the only thing to do is just go ahead and rob the bank. Which was such a well done scene. I mean. Jesse + Aziz 4EVER. But then things get hairy again when the transfer of the money to the hit man goes sour, and the team with the upper hand keeps changing, and now Aziz's sister has been kidnapped AND OMG WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO JESSE.

Michael Pena in 30 Minutes or Less
Surprise! I am hilarious.
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My favorite character in the whole film HAD TO BE Michael Pena, who played the hired hit man. HE IS A COMEDY GENIUS YOU GUYS. He was the perfect understated badass. His soft voice with little inflection? I mean. LOVE.

Danny McBride in 30 Minutes or Less
FLAME THROWER.
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I liked Danny McBride and Nick Swardson, too. BUT, I felt like the "resolution" of their friendship issues was kind of half-assed. Like, I totally kept waiting for Nick Swardson to admit that he was gay. Because they have this abusive friendship thing going on, and the only explanation that I could reasonably believe for why Nick Swardson stays around is that he's in love with Danny McBride. But that's just me okay.

Stats:

Number of times Jesse Eisenberg made me swoon: 15

Number of times the husband pursed his lips and rolled his eyes at my swooning: 15

Most badass action sequence: cop chase resulting in flipping over in the Datsun and walking away unscathed

Best list of things to purchase at a Family Dollar in one transaction: ski masks, plastic guns, spray paint, Big City Slider Station


Best weapon: pen

Second best weapon: random metal hook

Third best weapon: flame thrower

Final Assessment: Fun fun fun. And more fun. And laughing. And good times. And Jesse Eisenberg. Yes.

Just painting some guns. No big deal.

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