Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Slow Cooker BBQ Chicken, AND YOU CAN, TOO

This week, it is so hot. Uncomfortably hot. Like, in the 90s hot. Which I realize is not as hot as it gets in let's say Tennessee, but guess what? NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU, TENNESSEE. NOT EVEN ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT CARES ABOUT YOU ANY MORE. THEY GOT PAID. IT'S OVER.

So last night, the thought of turning on the oven made me wince. I did a little bit of googling (Again, do I need to capitalize it if I'm using it as a verb? Because if not, spell-check needs to go ahead and get over it.) and I found a super easy recipe for BBQ chicken that you can make in the crock pot, and you even use frozen chicken breasts, which made it so much easier.

The recipe called for a bottle of BBQ sauce and 1/2 cup of salad dressing, but ew. The thought of all of that unnecessary sugar made me ill. So I made my own BBQ sauce and my own Italian salad dressing, and let me tell you something - it only took a few extra minutes, and it was well worth it.


BBQ chicken sandwich, a little salad, and some corn on the cob. YUP.

Here is how I did it.

BBQ Chicken for Sandwiches

4 frozen boneless, skinless chicken breasts
8 oz. barbecue sauce (use your favorite, or recipe that follows)
1/2 c. Italian dressing (use your favorite, or recipe that follows)
1/4 c. brown sugar
2 tbs. Worcestershire sauce
2 tbs. corn starch

Place frozen chicken breasts in the bottom of the slow cooker. Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix to combine. Pour over chicken and cover with lid. Cook on high for 4 hours. Remove chicken from slow cooker and place in large bowl. Shred with forks. Keep sauce on high with lid off for a few minutes and stir to thicken. Pour sauce over shredded chicken. Put it on a bun and eat it, yo. (I put mayo and cracked black pepper on mine, but you do how you do.)

Easy BBQ Sauce*
1 tbs. butter, melted
2 tsp. onion powder
1/2 c. water
1/2 c. ketchup
1 tsp. mustard powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. celery seed
1 tbs. brown sugar
1 tsp. lemon juice

Mix it up. Marinate yo meat or veggies with it. YUM.

*This is a half-recipe, specific to how much you will need to make the chicken. Double this if you want to use it for grilling purposes.

Easy Italian Dressing
1 tbs. sugar
1 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. oregano
pinch of salt
couple of grinds of pepper
4 tbs. red wine vinegar
enough veggie oil to get the mix to 1/2 cup

I know this recipe gets kind of vague at the end, but honestly, I make this dressing all of the time and I just kind of eyeball all of the measurements. You'll get it.


I had to take the kids out to the grocery store yesterday afternoon because we needed rolls, and I naively thought that it would be just that simple. Get them a free cookie from the bakery. Get some rolls. Go home. No. It is never that easy.

The girl decided that she wanted pizza for dinner. The girl does not like pizza. She likes pizza dough with cheese on it. No sauce. No toppings. Just cheese on crust. Okay. Well. There was no time for me to make dough, and frankly, I did not want to have to turn on the oven. But she was persistent. And by persistent, I mean yelling.

So I bought a package of two individual Boboli bread shells.

That crap was nearly $5.

WHAT IN THE HELL IT'S BREAD AND IT TASTES LIKE GLUE I MEAN THIS IS INSANE.

But whatever, I bought it and the consolation was that I would only have to have the oven on for a few minutes, because all you really need to do is melt the cheese.

Well. Then it became a production. She suddenly wanted toppings. She wanted to be a pizza chef. She wanted shredded carrots.

I'm not even joking.


Here it is. Her bread shell pizza with shredded carrots and cheese. Which she did not eat, because she was concerned by the "burnt cheese marks" all over the crust. Which is how the Boboli looks at point of purchase. Which I showed to her, and which she approved of. Which is currently wrapped in plastic wrap in my fridge, and will no doubt become a delicious snack for the wild animals in our yard.

Remember when times were simpler, in 1992?

Me, too.




"A game of horseshoooooooes."

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